This here love always takes me by surprise,
because I always think that it’ll weaken once this redness in my eyes fades,
and yet here we are again,
here we always are again, I love you over and over again.
Over the years I’ve cried a river over you,
sometimes just for you,
in the hope that you’d sail away,
find happiness and start again,
but sometimes just for me,
I was hurt and angry, those tears were my release.
Flash forward to more recent years,
I got sick of my tears,
numb to the promises you made,
especially when I heard you’d gone away,
to try and give up yet again…
The smoking, the alcohol you tried to leave it all behind,
I felt like you left me behind,
you always left me behind,
unintentionally knocked me over repeatedly,
and I was told you were going to die repeatedly,
so eventually I went numb,
I’d hear you’re doing well again and I’d just feel so numb,
because I’d heard it all before,
opened that door to have it slammed shut once more,
and so I told myself I couldn’t do this anymore,
but I’d still love you.
Flash forward to now and here you sit before me,
I wasn’t sure how to feel, I’d spent time trying to perfect not feeling,
but here you sit before me,
and there’s this love that always sort of takes me by surprise,
because I always think that it’ll weaken once this redness in my eyes- fades…
but I love you just the same.
People have always spat your name to me,
and I’ve always tried to wipe it clean,
they wanted to put you down and wanted me to save you,
I was only a child, how could I ever save you?
And at last it seems you’ve pulled through,
as you sit before me, a man so full of life,
everybody still stares but it’s not like old times,
I hope and pray we’ve left those behind,
this time they’re surprised at how beautifully you glow,
accepting of your flaws, done with excuses and your pride shows.
I’ve always loved your spirit,
so strong it would shine through the smoke, through the alcohol, through the blood,
and that’s why everyone who tried to hate you didn’t understand that you are love,
in human form. You used to be a mess,
but love is messy I guess,
and life is messy I guess,
and no ones perfect I guess,
but your smile shone through all that mess,
and here you are.
With that charm that’s always charmed them all,
so many times I’ve seen you fall,
but this love it’s unconditional.
Here you sit before me, smoke and alcohol free smiling,
making more sense than you’ve ever made,
you are a story. A story of a man who fell so low,
who could melt your heart and make you laugh,
but couldn’t find a place to call home,
you are a story. A story of a man who was on self destruct,
but yet so full of love, and yet so damn corrupt.
You are story. A story of a man who was a coward and he couldn’t see,
that he had always been his one and only enemy.
You are a story. A story of a man who God saved,
whose light was so bright that it found a way to stay,
and you can finally say you’re free.
You are a story. And you know I’ve always loved to read.
Written in 2015 ©