They’re pulling me back,
and while they do, you punch harder,
one punch, two punch, three punch, four…
and my fists just keep tightening,
veins pulsing a little harder than before.
But I’ll still play by the rules, no low blows,
Imma spit the blood out my mouth,
prepared for when the bell goes.
Then it’s round what? 9 or 10?
And though I can’t feel the pain no more,
I won’t let you hit me again.
I’ve been playing calm while you just keep on f**king up,
and every time you’ve knocked me down, I’ve just got back up.
Like Rocky in the ring, I got hit one too many times,
put those fists up and block now, don’t fall – Nah, stand just like I
did. Every damn time. I said every damn time.
Do you know how many damn tears you’ve made me cry?
Don’t you dare try and tell me that you care,
when the times I needed you, you were never there.
Too drunk. Too selfish to answer your damn phone,
oh you wanna see me? Then you f**k off and leave me on my own.
And I laugh when you say that your house is mine,
cause when we had a good home, you left all the damn time.
And you have the cheek to tell me I’m the best as if you’ve raised me,
that wasn’t you. I’m this way because a strong woman raised me.
You didn’t call. And you know what, I’ve been through rain,
been hurt and confused, smiled then cried again.
I could have done with your advice, it would have been nice,
for you to teach me from your mistakes, but you didn’t think twice.
And you know what I’m still full of anger,
cause I’ve been sad and hurt but still defended you in anger.
You have the cheek to ask who I’m seeing now,
if he treats me right and if I’m happy now?
As if you set an example of what being treated right is,
you used to say all the right things but they were lies and you were pissed.
So I don’t know if they’re treating me right,
or staying with different women like you did every night.
And when they say they care I don’t believe them,
’cause you said you cared but still kept on leaving.
So I built this wall to keep people like you away,
and when they get too close I tend to push them away.
And I’m angry cause I didn’t want to need you.
And when you talk, just know, I don’t believe you.
And yeah I’ll always love you cause I have a good heart,
but when I make it, just remember you were only present at the start.
Get back up, cause yeah those were low blows but stand tall,
like I had to do every damn time you made me fall.
Written in 2013 ©